Great Uncle Larry

He’s my great uncle.  The great indicates that he is not my direct uncle, but rather my father’s uncle.  Funny though because “great” in this case has that double meaning.  To put it simply, he is, just an all-around incredible human being and I am so honored to be able to call him my Great Uncle Larry.

He is my grandmother’s younger brother.  The grandmother I never met but for whom I was named.  She was gone long before I was born- died and buried by her 40th birthday.  She left behind a husband, my grandfather, and three children, the oldest one my father. These are the nephews and niece of Lawrence Maffetone.

   After his sister died, Lawrence took an even more active role in the lives of his nephews and niece. He attended (and still does) all the important events in their lives. He has been supportive in their endeavors (and still is).  He has guided, cared for and loved them all this time.  His commitment has extended into the lives of their children as well (that includes me).   Despite having a family of his own, he was always there for all of us and continues to be to this day.

It is such a blessing for me that my children as well have the opportunity to know and love their Great, Great Uncle Larry.  (an even more fitting title)

His Story

Lawrence Maffetone was born in 1924 to two immigrant parents, the youngest of three children.  He grew up in Brooklyn, New York.  While his parent spoke both Italian and English, Lawrence would learn to speak English. (Although he does pretty well speaking Italian as well.)

When Lawrence was five years old, his father passed.  Times were financially difficult for the family but they made do with what they had.  As a young man, Lawrence spent a good deal of time with his older sister, Rose, and her husband, Nick.  Then came the war.

Lawrence joined the United States Army at age 17. Within a short time, he rose in the ranks and became a lieutenant.  He was stationed in France, Germany, and Austria and was part of the 69th Infantry.

In May, 1945, Lawrence and his crew entered Mauthausen Concentration Camp hidden in the hills of Austria where they liberated the remaining survivors.   He will never forget the atrocities he had seen there.  (He has asked me more than once to make sure that no one ever doubts the Holocaust. He remembers the details too vividly; he will never forget)

Ironically, in this dark, sad place during this dark, sad time, Lawrence, of all things, met and fell in love with a young beautiful Italian girl from Venice. (Vanda was working with the Italian underground against Mussolini.) She and a friend were standing on a corner in Austria looking at a map.  According to her version, two handsome US soldiers stopped and asked, “Are you lost?”

After that brief encounter, a courtship ensued.  They communicated via Italian/American dictionary for 9 months.   According to the legend, he promised her that he would show her the world.  She believed him. True to his character, he kept his word.  They got married at her church, St. Marks, in Venice.  Vanda became what is known as a war bride and back to New York they went where they led a blissful, adventurous, “seeing the world” kind of marriage.

They had one wonderful daughter, Monica.

Through the GI Bill, Lawrence was able to attend Fordham University and later NYU for graduate school.  He taught high school for 11 years, and then he became an assistant principal at PS 142 in Red Hook Brooklyn. Eventually he became the principal of PS 172 in Sunset Park, Brooklyn. He retired from education in 1984.  He worked part time teaching at NYU and LIU until his wife’s health needs required him to be home.

In addition, Lawrence remained in the Army reserve for many years.  This consisted of work one night per week or one weekend per month and a stint in Army camp for two weeks during each summer. He would eventually retire as Lieutenant Colonel.  For many years, Lawrence was an honored guest marching with his infantry in all kinds of parades including the famous NYC St. Pat’s Day parade.   

Now, at age 94, Lawrence continues to go to Hofstra University three times a week participating in the PEIR program (Personal Enrichment In Retirement).  He takes and gives classes in history, politics, the arts, health, and music.   

Our Story

I have clear memories as a child spending time with my Uncle Larry.  He would always ask, “What do you want to be when you grew up?”  At one point, I must have mentioned that I wanted to be an artist.  He thought it was a noble and cultured idea and told me that I should set my sights for studying art at the University of Bologna.  I had no idea what he was talking about but I agreed; My Uncle Larry knew everything, so University of Bologna must have been just right.

To me, my uncle was all things cultured and rich, not necessarily in money, but in intellect, in art, in music, in food, in wine, in conversation, in ideas, in knowledge.  In my early 20’s I attended my first (of only 2) operas because Uncle Larry took me. At his home, we would eat interesting food combinations that I still love today: prosciutto and melon, and stuffed pork roast with an apricot/horseradish dipping sauce to name a few.  These were not typical foods a little girl was exposed to.  I was a picky eater but not at Uncle Larry’s house.  His home was filled with exotic things from all around the world.  Art, real art, hung on his walls.  I was taking it all in as it was so different from anything I had seen before.

Years later, I decided not to be an artist or attend the University of Bologna.  He wasn’t disappointed though because I decided to become a teacher.  Uncle Larry approved. “What a noble career choice,” he told me. It always felt good to know he was proud of me.

Once in my late twenties, I saw Uncle Larry at a family event.  We talked like we always did.  He asked me what I was teaching in school and I shared about a new book series our school district had adopted to teach US History.  It was a series of short books called, The Story of Us written by Joy Hakim.  When I saw Uncle Larry again at the next event, he was so excited to tell me he went straight to the library, took out the series, and read every word from every book.  He agreed with me that this was a great way to read and learn about history.   With Uncle Larry’s approval, again, I knew I was on the right track.

Several years ago, he had a conversation with my mother about her father’s service in WW2.  My mother shared whatever information she could gather about her father’s service and Uncle Larry urged her to write a letter to the US Government detailing the heroism her father clearly demonstrated during the war.  My mother wrote that letter.  As a result, my mother’s father, Salvatore Mannino, was posthumously granted the medals of honors he deserved including the Purple Heart.  These medals are framed for display in my mother’s home. They would not be there except for Uncle Larry’s guidance and thoughtfulness.

Funny Times

One of my favorite stories was right after the historic 2008 election.  Our family had a gathering and Uncle Larry was given explicit, strict instructions to NOT discuss politics.  Everyone agreed that this was not the time or the place to engage in that kind of discussion.  Everyone agreed including, so we thought, Uncle Larry.  In he walked, in his usual attire, suit, tie, and hat.  I can still see it.  He took his hat off, used it to cover his heart and announced, rather loudly, “Robert, What did you think about the election?  It was one of the proudest days of my life.” Everyone froze.  Didn’t we review this?  What happened?  But still, he was 84 at the time, a war hero, a family legend, an icon.  Truth is he could say what he wanted.  And that was that!

In January of 2017, I saw Uncle Larry again.  I was telling him about the Women’s March I would be attending in a few weeks with my friends and family.  He was so proud I would be out there marching.  (I know he would have been there too if he could).  I told him that I wanted to make a sign for the march but was having trouble coming up with what I wanted to say.  I asked him if he had any ideas.  “Let me think about it,” he said.  Many hours passed and the wine was finished.  After a short nap, Uncle Larry woke up and said, “I’ve got it! I know what your sign should say.”  I was so excited.  I had told him that I wanted something smart but sassy, something important but funny, strong and meaningful- maybe a play on words.  I couldn’t wait to hear his idea.  Everyone was filled with great anticipation.  What wise words we all knew we would soon hear.  

He stood up proudly and said, “Your sign should say ‘Save Social Security’.”

Well, it wasn’t exactly what I had in mind.  It was clear and important and surely to the point. But not exactly what I was aiming for.  I ended up making a few different signs. Interestingly enough, my mother’s sign said this, “Save Social Security and Medicare.”  She thought it was the exact right sentiment to share.

Speaking of social security, one time I made a blunder that mixed up historical events…. To Uncle Larry.  We were discussing social security and I had been trying to get a sense of my families’ immigration experience.  Who better to ask than Uncle Larry?  I was wondering how my great grandparents were able to work in America without social security numbers.  Whoops!

“Now Roseann,” he said, “when did social security start?”

Damn! “FDR” I meekly responded trying to redeem myself.  I then got a most interesting lecture about what life was like for senior citizens before social security and of course learned something new. Then I got the other lecture, about the great FDR.  To hear Uncle Larry talk and share his insight; if only every family could have an Uncle Larry…..

Serious Times

In 2018, two months after yet another school shooting, Uncle Larry asked me what I thought about teachers being armed in schools.  I went on my tirade of needing specialized training, that using a gun in times of crisis should only be for highly trained individuals, how dangerous it could be, etc.  Uncle Larry then asked me, “do you think you could kill someone?”  We were at the dinner table.  I didn’t quite know where he was going.  I started rambling, “Well if it’s a person, shooting up others, I mean, if it’s a bad guy.  I mean if it’s a student, then it would be hard.  But if it’s a killer, a bad guy…….”  I was floundering.

I waited for his response while he slowly continued to eat his dinner.  It felt like an hour had gone by. He put his fork and knife down and said, “I had to kill people during the war you know.  Bad guys. Nazis.”  And that was all he said about it.  And that was all he needed to say. Perspective from a man who has lived it, from a man who knows, from a hero, from a wise, reflective soul.  It’s a wisdom I can trust.  I have shared that story countless times.

And the stories, oh the stories……He recently told us about what he remembers when he was in the south during the forties; how uncomfortable he was with the Jim Crow laws firmly in place; how he knew how inherently wrong it was.  These memories haunted him and would have a profound impact on his views of racism in America.  Years later, he would watch, champion, and cheer the Civil Rights Movement. 

*I could probably continue to write another 4 pages of stories but I’ll stop here as I believe I have adequately made my case.  

Cheers, Salute, Cent’ ani

To my Great Uncle Larry- A man so far ahead of his time.  A man who championed Civil Rights, Women’s Rights, Workers Rights:  A liberal lion as we like to call him.  And a true, old fashioned gentleman.  A devoted husband, a loving father, a caring grandfather and great grandfather, and an amazing, great uncle.