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| The joys of her heart |
As a gratitude exercise, I often mentally run through all the “gifts” I’ve been given. Not tangible gifts. The life ones. I call them the "Life Lottery Wins." Sometimes they’re trivial (like realizing I already hoarded toilet paper so when a pandemic hits, I’m at least prepared in that department) and sometimes they’re much more serious, like the gift of having a healthy and living mother.
I do NOT take this gift for granted. I’ve been reminded too many times by my friends who have lost their mothers too soon (too soon as defined by young, middle or old- it's always too soon). I know I’m lucky. Thank you for reminding me to keep this at the top of my Lottery Win list.
I admit though that I roll my eyes maybe a bit too often. And the questions at the kids' games????.....definitely drive my crazy ( Is that boy on Johnny's team? Was that a foul? That wasn’t G’s fault was it? on and on and on)
My mother lives only a few miles away. Of course this has been helpful over the years particularly with my children, her only two grandchildren. She’d help care for the children when they were young. And when the children got older, she was always there to help with pick-ups and drop-offs. Living close by has also made coming to the kids' sporting events common. While in attendance, she is famous for taking her “walks” around facilities and buildings. “Too much stress,” she says. So she comes to the games but doesn’t always watch them?? She prays a lot too at the games. We’ve discussed that it’s probably not ok to ask God for her granddaughter to get that hit, or for her grandson to make that basket. But I think she still does. She’s developed a system. I’m assuming she’s worked it out with God. She is good at things like that. She is also cute beyond words.
She is also an incredibly interesting person with a variety of hobbies and talents, and deep wells of knowledge. She is often seen walking through the neighborhood, and people in town will tell me, “I saw your mom walking yesterday.” She will strike up conversation with anyone and it’s almost always received well. How many people tell me “I met your mom at the nail salon.”! And she likes to throw my name around like I’m a celebrity. Her grandkids’ names too. She’s just always looking to connect to people. I think it comes from her city spirit: people all around all the time. Speaking of city, she can go full Brooklyn on you if the circumstance is warranted. In general, I wouldn’t mess with her.
And speaking of Brooklyn, the kids and I like to count how many minutes it takes for her to weave into the conversation that she is from Brooklyn. She is very proud of that fact. No one will ever forget that time a man from Illinois who discovered my mother grew up in Brooklyn made the mistake of saying, "Awww, I am sorry for you." As in pity. With finger waving in his face, she said, “Listen up, Chicago, I grew up in the greatest borough in the greatest city in the world. Yeah I feel bad for YOU!" Tail between his legs, wounded poor “Mr. Chicago” limped away. He learned his lesson. She knew it was her responsibility to set that record straight. So she did.
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| (Coney Island) which happens to be in the greatest borough of the greatest city in the world. |
Back to her gentler side, my mom enjoys attending the Senior Center in town. She takes art and writing classes. Her poems are beautiful, and she’s completed one chapter of her autobiography. It’s so good. Actually her life story is a great one with so much to write about. A story of overcoming enormous hardship, growing up in an Italian American neighborhood, a story of the power of a grandmother’s love, a story of redemption, and acceptance, and forgiveness and healing and growing.
She’s so smart too my mother. She pretty much knows everything. From finances to beauty products to landscaping to cooking. (What an amazing cook!)
She’s compassionate, loving, fierce, funny, interesting, knowledgeable, and strikingly beautiful.
I am lucky to have her and luckier to be able to know and appreciate her, as woman to woman, mother to mother.
Yup, my biggest Lottery Win.
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| My mom with her grandmother, the first love of her life |
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| me and my mom..... |